Once More Unto The Breach, Dear Friends, Once More

Bill Shakespeare, Henry V

I got my first dose of the ruby red poison this morning after being amply premedicated to prevent nausea.
"Premedicated," now there's a word. Is it a paradox or an oxymoron? They premedicate you with medicine so...

I digress.

My most excellent Nurse Julie pushed it into my IV and I watched red line in the tube snake into my chest. I expected a bigger reaction. I expected to feel something. But all I felt was my own anxiety. I popped an ATRA and drove home.

Now I wait. I wait for my hair to fall out again. I wait to see if I get diarrhea or constipation on the side effect roulette. I wait for my blood to die.

And I wait to go back tomorrow and do it again.

Daunorubicin My Old Friend, We Meet Again.

It's a love-hate relationship at best. This drug is a carcinogenic poison that could damage my organs and will destroy my bone marrow and my immune system and make me vulnerable to every virus and germ floating by.

Hello Swine Flu!

Of course it will also save my life.

So I am... conflicted.

I get three doses of the drug this week and seven doses of ATRA so I can kick this bitch to the curb. Wait, no... I mean achieve permanent remission.

So, hold on. Here we go!